Don’t Laugh, But If You Catch Me Staring At You, It’s Because I’m Working Through Variations In Your Behavior. Okay, You Can Laugh. I Guess It Is Kind Of Odd.

Humans are alike in their gestures, their physical aspects, their emotional balance, their mental machinations – not because these are all similar, but because they are all hatable.

You can hate someone immediately and intensely, without any real reason for it. There can be empirical evidence, bits of pieces of their personality to prove you wrong, but there will be no changing it unless you consciously decide to do so. And even then, there will always be something off about that person – their childish urges, their hysterical laugh, their complaints, their tie-dyed hair – to make you hate them, absolutely and irrevocably.

Above anything else, humans are lovable or hatable. Love is a simple sentiment to put into regular terms, as is hate. I can love the shape of your ears, the way you chew your nails, the drawings you stick to refrigerator doors, but I can just as easily hate those things about you. In fact, it’d probably be much easier to do so. Hatred is quick and instinctual, before rationalization or logic.

Often, throughout the day, I’ll catch myself thinking especially degenerate thoughts about others, even if I do not really know them that well. I frequently stop myself and say don’t think that, as if to somehow console myself, or convince myself of my sympathy. But there really isn’t anything I can do about it, because anyone and everyone is hatable and lovable in a distinct way to each and every person.

It’s easy to say something cruel about everyone you know. He’s irresponsible, she’s immature, he’s a womanizer, she’s heartless. It’s the most identifiable part of each one of us.  

I know that it’s an aspect of who I am – my own personal hatability. I can mold myself into a different person, make myself more or less appealing, but there will always be someone to stare at me in anger, in disgust, for reasons I can neither comprehend nor modify. I’m hatable, and it will always be so.

Everyone is kind and vicious, sharp and dull, independent and co-dependent, nervous or sure, depending upon the place, situation and point of view. There aren’t any clear-cut answers, no transparency. People will always be hatable, and it doesn’t ever have to make sense. It’s just one of those things explained at length in human psychology books but that no one can really fully analyze in a practical setting. It’s a variation in behavior we all have, whether we realize it or not. And if everyone’s hatable, no one is.

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